I asked this question.. because of what transpired yesterday for me.. and sadly the person I was talking to had her experience over the last week and a half. And now because what she shared has affected me I feel I need to put it in words. My heart is so heavy for this woman..actually for the couple.. a very sweet endearing couple, who when I first met them a week and a half ago I was drawn to them..She's a couple years older than I am, and clearly he was much younger then her. I did not notice that at first.. what I saw was the love they clearly shared.. he held her hand.. he was attentive to her, when she needed something out of her purse.. he reached to help her with it..to get it off her shoulder.. when she spoke.. she would glance at him.. not sure if it was for reassurance.. or just to make sure she got the timing right.. those things jumped out at me first..the bond.. As I watched this couple, they were leaving their paperwork for me to work on..and we offer drop off service or you can make an appointment. I was listening to the conversation they were having with my customer service rep. and clearly it was not offered. The client had stated she was concerned, would like it if she can speak with someone, and was told if we have questions we'll call you. Needless to say, they left.. and I went out to get the file. Like I said.. I was drawn to them. Put my name on the folder and got to doing their return the following night. I did call them, because after listening to her I just wanted to make sure I was doing my job right. So I spoke with both her and her husband, and glad I did. There was other things I needed for her return that no one else had told them about. They said they would bring in the papers that week. She came in during the day, when I am not working, I am there from 4:30 to 8 or later.. so when she came in she dropped off her paper work and that's when things went south.. I had explained to the couple on the phone that it would be best if we sat down and had an appointment, to go over this years return and for me to look at last years because clearly things were missed. They once again said that was never offered to them in the 8 years they were coming to that office, I apologized and explained we should offer both. So we made an appointment, I told her if she wanted to just drop off the paper work I could get it into the computer and then we can finalize everything during the appt. She agreed. She came in the next day and dropped off her paperwork explaining to the CSR that they had an appt that Saturday but that I wanted to have the papers beforehand. And that's what ignited the CSR, she first said to the client that she did not know my schedule and would put her info into her file, grabbed the paper from her hands and tossed it on her desk with one of those disgusted sighs. The client was shocked and had asked her did I do something wrong? and instead of the CSR calming down.. she got loud and started yelling at the client, the client finally got up and left. The next day, the CSR calls the client to tell them that their tax return is done. WHICH btw was NOT, I had it in what we call the pending drawer, which basically means more info is needed, and nothing has been printed. So when the client got that message she was upset, she thought we had an appointment on Sat. am to discuss and go over, so she called the CSR, who then put her on hold for 20 MINUTES! WHO does that? oh and it gets worse.. the client decides, ok this is enough, hangs up and calls back. We have caller id..guess who won't answer the phone.. so then the husband calls from his cell and the CSR answers right away. He states who he is and the CSR does one of those disgusted sighs... he asks her to please don't do that... her response... I was just breathing! of course said with attitude.. so he confirms that we have an appt on Sat am with me.. and her answer is.. yes you're in the computer but I don't know what her schedule is. (again a blatant LIE)
So.. yesterday.. was Saturday.... and they were my first appointments for the day. I got in early to open up.. get things set up and going.. they came to the front desk, I went out and said hello, let me get your file.. we went into my office and had our meeting.. she had many questions as did he.. we went over the previous years return, she said thank you for taking the time to explain all of this to us. I told her that's my job, to help you understand and to know what you can do next year to help.. so then she says can I tell you about my hell. My stomach dropped, I thought maybe I had done something wrong, and I asked, is everything okay? She says its not been with you, you have been great its with "she says her name" and explains the above to me. BUT here's the edge to this all. When she explained how she came in to drop off her paperwork, and the CSR took attitude and grabbed the paper away from the client, and started getting loud.. the client shared with me.. "I did battle with cancer this last year, (her husband reaches over to her, both of them tears in their eyes) heck I almost lost it.. she then says.. I did battle with cancer and.. there was no way I was going to engage in a battle with that bitch"
I sat there.. apologizing.. at first dumbfounded at all that I heard her explain.. I went on to let them know that that is not how we want our customers treated, that I was sorry that they BOTH had to experience that kind of treatment. Needless to say she wanted someone that she could complain to.. so I gave her my district manager's phone number, and stated to the client.. if you feel you aren't getting a good response from him, here is the regional managers phone number. Sadly I know how this goes, I have had to handle many complaints from this CSR, and the district manager always seems to have an excuse ready for her behavior. I don't get it..
So I did what I thought best.. I comped her fees, I would have liked to have given them both free.. but figured I would leave room hopefully for the district manager to at least send some coupons or comp the husbands return too.
There is one thing I have learned.. and I was pretty young when I did.. probably about 8.. I realized that people ALL people are carrying something around with them that is difficult. I don't think there is a person out there that has had such a golden life. Unscathed by life whether its health issues or heart issues...
LOVE is a powerful thing! We are capable of showing love, being compassionate, doing good for one another, saying kind words! Since when does anyone have the right to give attitude like that to another human being! And I don't care how bad YOU'RE day is.. you don't get to dump on the next guy that comes along.. it isn't their fault either!!!
I wonder though.. will this CSR learn this.. I have a few people in my life that are like that.. I don't spend much time with them, because in all honestly I don't want that in my life.
I heard this story awhile ago.. was about this husband and wife, the husband would go out drinking with his buddies, stay out late, and he would bring the guys home. He wasn't abusive, just drank and wanted to be with the guys. So the guys go to his house.. as they have many times before, and he goes in to wake his wife, she gets up.. puts on her robe, and comes out and starts making food. This friend of her husbands is just astounded that his wife would get up at 3, 4, or whenever they got there because this was something the husband would boast about.. oh come over the missus will make us breakfast.. so his friend, goes to the wife and asks her.. why do you get up and make the food, why do you show him such compassion. Her reply.. because I love him, and this may be the only heaven he knows.
Why can't we all have that in our hearts.. to show compassion being kind, giving love instead of always looking for it, or taking it..
I feel I need to put a disclaimer on here.. in regards to those in abusive relationships.. there is no amount of compassion that will help the abuser, there is no amount of love that will STOP your abuser. The abuser is not fueled by LOVE, so showing love, doesn't work. and I am sure you have tried it and know this to be true as well.
I close now, feeling a little lighter.. sometimes its best to get your thoughts out there.. a sorting of feelings so to say.. haha..
starts here.. shower the people you love with love!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWnjEMbFFME
and for my babe.. thank you! it is sweet to be loved by you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSQdRz-HlJw&feature=related
