New Year...

I had to laugh doing this facebook status review.. for the year... so here's some highlights as to "what's on your mind?"

When I read these over... I know what was happening.. and of course some of them make me smile.. some.. I would rather skip over...

Here are JANUARY s posts!
is counting it down.. people!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
says.. Happy New Year!!!
just got back from ice skating.. wow that was fun!
is getting the kids ready to get back to school!!
is thinking I'm not in Kansas anymore Toto..!!
says WOW is it EVER WARM out today..woohoo.
is wondering..did I wake up from a coma.. its freaking SUMMER!!
wants it to be FRIDAY... is hooting and a hollering..YIPPEE.. ITS FRIDAY!!!
is enjoying FRIDAY.. is it time for a margarita.. ?? YUP
having a yard sale..is ALOT of work!!
I need a vacation.. anyone wanna go with me..?
is pondering.. there's got to be more than just "working for the weekends"..?
is giving a shout out to Aaron.. my aussie "stalker"... LOL.. there.. that ought to keep you still!!!
is giving a shout out to my other "stalker".. STACY aka congirl..
is wanting to go home, climb in bed, get under the covers.. and HIDE... LOL..
is thankful for great friends/family that are there when u really need them! HUGSS!
..

FEBRUARY is taking tommorow OFF... woohooo..!!!
is looking forward to the party tonite!!
is looking forward to "getting away" is leaving..but not on a jet plane.. heading for the "hills"...
oooo is back home.. no snow here..??
she likes snow better than rain!!!
is watching the clouds roll in.. rain again?? really..!!
thanks you.. for when you say hi to me, or smile ; ) it’s the best feeling in the world because I know… even if just for a second, I crossed your mind...
says: it is the friends that you can call at 4 a.m. that matter is realizing.. just WHO those friends ARE...
haha will no longer post status- she's pulling a STACY
LOL is fixing the laptop the boys insist playing their stupid games on-so now my WORK programs dont LOAD!! arrgghh.. (and they have their own puter!!)

MARCH is om gosh..what a B-e-a-utiful day.. woohooo
ahhh its RAINING.. ???
is working.. but being distracted by the blue skies and sun!!!
is looking forward to the wedding on Friday!!! woohooo
is... happy.. smiling.. woohooo... LOL
is recovering from Friday wedding and Sat- all day at the ball fields..
wonders can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." "There is hope in dreams, imagination, and in the courage of those who wish to make those dreams a reality." " all you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination"
courage is knowing what not to fear!
says California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
has the ipod cranked.....cleaning da house...hey these kids are laughing...is it the way i sing..dance...or my cleaning abilities????....
is wondering why Stew's profile says.."temporarily unavailable" or is there a deeper meaning to that..
is not liking this new set up.. "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" RIGHT Stew???
is so loving today....watching the sun come up~enjoying the great outdoors!!.....
wooohooo "nothing like a long bike ride, fresh air, wind in your face, sun on your back-to make it a GREAT day!"
going to stop and buy that winning lotto ticket!!!
is listening to her kids.. and wondering.. isnt it time for bed YET?? LOL
The essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

APRIL is happy!!! and its MONDAY.. whats that about????
thinking Tuesday.. still happy..?? is someone spiking my morning coffee???
LOL theres lots of things on my mind, I could write a book-ah but whats the point-ever feel like.. lost, not sure what to do next, wonder what tommorow will bring.. will it be better than today.. God I hope SO!! I really do!
thinks that the only thing dr.s offices are good for...is to get caught up on reading...
for long you live and high you'll fly.. smiles you give.. and tears you'll cry.. and all you touch.. and all you see .. is all your life .. will ever be...
Life is about choices.. and our circumstances have nothing to do with that choice!
Put me in a room filled with horse manure.. and I'll be looking for that pony EVERY TIME!!!
is feeling.... inspired... !!!
don't spend your precious time immersed in rumors, things from the past, negative thoughts or things beyond your control. It is better to invest your energy in the positive present!!!... "DREAM more while AWAKE!!!"
is so excited.. nimble fingers, determination and 2 replacement keys for the laptop-INSTALLED and working!!! woohooo.. thinking I need to advertise.. haha.. and she's mechanically challenged!! not so much!! today is officially.. one of the worst.. could I get a woohooo!!! I am going to BED!!!!
is gonna use the old line.. "when life throws you lemons.. make lemonade".. and if you have tequila with it... well..thats all I am saying.. : P
today.. is a whole NEW day!!! woohooo.. and SHE LIKES IT!!! no .. shes LOVIN it!! is wondering if those lotto tickets hit... sure would be nice... haha.. has nothing on her mind.. not worth sharing.. : P It always seemed that I was sorry for the things that I did- But never let you in. Its kinda funny: by the time I was falling apart-You came and put me back together now...cuz what I want and what I need-Has now become the same thing.... I think.. I need to head to the mountains...

MAY the eagle has landed...okay not an eagle but 737 jet...haha...toured the 'gold rush' town...long day today~tommorow we see....the governator..hey Arnold!!.. is sitting at sacramento airport...its been raining all day~waiting for the flight home....I am beat! is finally HOME... Sacramento.. cold.. and raining.. Los Angeles.. a balmy 77...and CLEAR..yeah.. we like LA!!!! its good to be back.. beautiful weather..the sun is out... going to enjoy!!! just played a double header!! yeah.. baseball baby!! and MAN DID I have FUN!!!!! Wow.. May already.. this year is FLYING by!! Don't blink!! nutin honey... LOL is thinking..... haha is wishing all her "mum" friends a very Happy Mother's Day!!! May it be filled with NOTHING to do, LOTS of sunshine, a GOOD book, an all around RELAXING day!!! did exactly what she wanted to do.. nothing!! sunned my bunns.. read a bit of my book..and actually went out for eats.. "the Outback".. yeah... good day.. good times.. is back to reality.. did you know... "it BITES!!"... LOL is not sure why I can't get but 4 hours sleep.. what, where, when, and HOW?? and dont say sleeping pills! is thinking... a vacation is WHAT I need... de"stress" my life.. chill.. re-laxxx sip on BIG colorful drinks with those cute umbrellas.. served by a cabana boy!! ahhhh... a good sleep, amazing what that does for you! is thinking I can't even "afford" to day dream!... is hoping and praying....
"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully,
Mum had surgery.... she'll be in for a few days for observation.. they think they got it!!! I can BREATHE again... is happy.. mum is all good.. and went out for some "let down your hair fun" thanks Christa!!! had a blast!! ..Bring it ON!!!... wooooohoooooooo yeah is thinking I need more sleep!!! is thrilled mum is out of the hospital and doing sooo well!!!!.... its a B-E-A-UTIFUL Sunday!!!! ]
is not doing what I had planned.. but in the end.. I will get what I want...
has alot on her plate again... (thinking I am scraping it off.. right into the garbage!!).. yeah.. that feels good.. LIVE simply, LOVE sacrificially, LAUGH continually!!!.. is going for a run... hoping I dont trip over the dog!! LOL.. yeah she does that.. had a pretty good day!.. what can I say.. the sun was out.. I was up.. no work in site.. yeah baby!! is thinking.. its 3 am.. AND I am getting off the puter.. LOL.. l is at work.. LOL... but is she working..thats the real question.. ?? hehe long weekend ahead.. must sleep....!!!! lol oh the quiet of the evening.. being alone.. such peace.. is heading out to go camping !! is chill-axing at home!!! is enjoying the day! -
may not be perfect.. but parts of me.. are excellent!!
has alot on her mind, and this box just isnt BIG enuf!!! LOL
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
is thinking this weekend went way too fast.. DO OVER!!!!...

New Years Eve

As I sit and ponder this last year.. like the road behind me.. it has quite a few bumps and some large potholes.. but I am still here moving forward... As I look out ahead.. to what lies before me.. yes.. there are plenty of changes, new roads to negotiate, maybe even a roadblock, or a detour.. but I know the direction I am going.. As scary as something new can be.. its exciting to.. the unknown.. how will it go.. will I be okay.. I look back on the road trips I have ventured out on this last year.. and there were moments... many many moments of ecstatic happiness, or should I say contentment.. I was content in where I was.. even though my life was in turmoil.. I found myself climbing Moro Rock this summer and when I got to the top.. it took everything in me.. to not shout!! We climbed 400 stone steps to the top of the barren rock (6,725-foot elevation) and at the top.. the view..of the valley below.. the mountains..you could feel the warm summer breeze.. the smell of the pine trees.. the feel of the sun on my face.. one of my moments!

Or when we were hiking around crescent meadow.. spotted some bears.. baby ones thank goodness.. but there was one spot.. climbed on the rock..and just took in the beauty of the tall redwoods... the blue sky.. what a day..

I have been very fortunate this last year.. I was given many of those moments.. that I will treasure.. I cherish these memories.. I long to make new ones.. I look forward to the road ahead.. to more travels.. to more lakes, rivers, to glorious sunsets..to quiet mornings.. as you feel the sun rise, and the dew dissipates... coffee brewing... and the excitement of a whole new day ahead!!!

POST number 13!!!

ooohhhh.. does that frighten you.. cuz it doesn't me.. I am not the superstitious type. I always looked at the number 13 as my lucky number. Guess I learned to buck that system early.. haha.. too bad I didn't hang on to that fearlessness.

I have to laugh cuz my lotto numbers were always 1, 3, 7, 11 13, and 21... and only once did I hit 4 of the 6 numbers, sadly it only paid me 92 dollars but hey.. was 92 I didn't have earlier.. Now when I play the lotto.. I know its not about my numbers I play.. its all random.. its luck.. so tomorrow I will be heading to buy my last numbers for this year.. the draw is on the 30th... so if you don't hear from me after that.. LOL.. who knows where you'll find me..

maybe on some deserted beach.. with a fancy drink.. you know the kind with those cute umbrellas.. and my kini on.. lounging under some beautiful palm.. basking in the sun...

oh look there I am.!!!
BEAUTIFUL!!!

Finding YOUR happiness

In keeping with the theme of the "finding your true north" and what direction that is for you. I came to this question, which I am sure many have pondered.. am I happy? where does my happiness lay? can I buy happiness? how do I find my happiness? what does it mean to be truly happy?

Happiness shifts as people age, younger people are more likely to associate happiness with excitement, older people are more likely to associate happiness with feeling peaceful—a change driven by increasing feelings of connectedness to others and to the present moment.

The word "happy" can be used as high-arousal words (excited, giddy, energetic) and with low-arousal words (peaceful, calm, relaxed).

There has been research done that shows bloggers under 20 were more than twice as likely to use the word happy in the same sentence as an excited-related word than bloggers over 40. In contrast, bloggers over 40 were almost twice as likely to use the word happy in the same sentence as a peaceful-related word than bloggers under 20.

These results, reveal that feeling excited was positively related to happiness amongst younger adults, whereas feeling peaceful was positively related to happiness amongst older adults.
The meaning of happiness is dynamic—changing over the course of one’s lifetime.

Everyone wishes to attain happiness, he can never say definitely and consistently what it is that he really wishes and wills..... typical hey.. we all chase different things at different times in our lives. ...
For some of us.. happiness is the next promotion, or the all elusive raise. Needless to say as we age we realize happiness isn't found in possessions but rather in who we are. Our media has a tendency to teach us that you won't be happy until you have set yourself in the latest "sexy" sport car or whatever other material item they are trying to sell. Notice though its an item and we are to define ourselves by that..or through ownership of it.

Here's some quotes to ponder...

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.


True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

Playing 20 questions..

So here’s the list of questions in black and will so try to answer them.. with the exception of questions 1, 2 (cuz I answered that on my blog) and lets not forget 10!!! and finally… 11…

question 1 : 100 words on why the korean war started
question 2: where did christmas trees come from
question 3: why was rudolphs nose so bright  The real story is this.. Rudolph didnt have a red nose… he had a halogen light for a nose.. and well we all know what happens in fog.. you can’t use your high beams.. so Santa put red foil over Rudolphs nose and they made a bargain that good ol Rudolph would help Santa as long as he had his very own song.. .
question 4: who in the world invented pop tarts and why Kellogg Company came up with this concoction.. and why.. to  make money.. and Pop-Tarts are Kellogg's most popular brand to date in the United States, with millions of Pop-Tarts sold each year. They are distributed mainly in the United States, but also in Canada. They can also be found in the United Kingdom and Ireland. Pop-Tarts were discontinued in Australia in 2005 and are now found only in import stores.  Find that fact quite funny.
question 5: where is waldo  you can find him here http://www.findwaldo.com/

question 6: is it really not butter?  yeah.. not really
question 7: why i am no good at air hockey when aaron wins all the time   LOL.. all the time!!! lets clarify.. you won 6 games total while my winning run is over 28.. sooo.. all the time is a bit of a stretch.
question 8: who invented the lawn mower  The first lawn mower was invented by Edwin Budding in 1827 in Thrupp, just outside Stroud, in Gloucestershire.
question 9 Why did you just skip question 10???  Cuz you can’t count.. clearly review number 7.. that’s proof
question 11: Spam is good for nothing, discuss

question 12:What would i be doing right now if i were a vampire you would be up and hunting.. cuz its night.. and you would be hungry.. hehe
question 13: why is the number 13 superstitious The number 13 is associated with bad luck in some countries, and even has a specifically recognized phobia, Triskaidekaphobia, a word which was coined in 1911. Friday the 13th has been considered an unlucky day since the 1800s, as a combination between an unlucky day, Friday, and the number 13 AND now for the LUCKY 13!!!   Several successful sports figures have worn the number 13. Ozzie Guillén, manager of the 2005 World Series Champion Chicago White Sox, has worn the number throughout his baseball career. Alex Rodriguez began wearing it upon joining the New York Yankees (three, the number he had previously worn, is retired by the Bronx Bombers to honor Babe Ruth). Dan Marino, an American football player known for passing the 2nd most yards in NFL history, wore the number 13. Basketball great Wilt Chamberlain wore the number 13 on his jersey throughout his NBA career. Also, FIBA rules require a player to wear the number in international competitions (only numbers from 4 to 15 could be worn, and as there are 12 players, one must wear 13); Chris Mullin, who wore #20 in college and #17 in the NBA, wore #13 for both (1984 and 1992) of his Olympic appearances. Shaquille O'Neal wore #13 in 1996, Tim Duncan wore #13 in 2004, Steve Nash is currently wearing it for the Phoenix Suns, Yao Ming wore it in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, and Mats Sundin and Bill Guerin wear 13 in the NHL. One of Iceland's all time best handball players, Sigurður Sveinsson, wore the number 13 when he played for the national team. In association football, both Gerd Müller and Michael Ballack have favoured the number 13, among others.
question 14: Why is there no I in Team  not spelled that way.. its EA.. english language dear…
question 15:  Where did the alphabet come from The history of the alphabet started in ancient Egypt. By 2700 BC Egyptian writing had a set of some 22 hieroglyphs^[3] to represent syllables that begin with a single consonant of their language, plus a vowel (or no vowel) to be supplied by the native speaker. These glyphs were used as pronunciation guides for logograms, to write grammatical inflections, and, later, to transcribe loan words and foreign names
question 16: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound  Of course.. silly..
question 17:  If you were chasing cars, would you just lay here with me  YES… for always
question 18: If i were Popeye, how would you go about defeating Brutus in a pie eating contest  make them spinach pies.. brutus hates those!! and then you would defeat him!!! hehe
question 19: If i had a double for a day, where would you go I would want to be with the original.. I don’t do cheap copies! haha
question 20: If you had DD breasts how would you use them?  So laughing.. how would I use them.. with gusto.. and creativity.. I would also flaunt.. and might even let you play with them.. haha!

Where I want to be…

Home.. where is that for you? what does home mean? is it where you were born? is it where you currently reside? is it a dwelling place..something with 4 walls?  or is home a place that you have in your heart? that no matter where you are, there is home. 

how do you view your  home? mine use to be, where i lived currently at the moment and i have to say over the years that definition has certainly changed for me… though at times i feel so lost and so very much alone…. i always have considered that my home is canada even though i have been residing in the united states for too many years.  but canada is where i was born, that's my citizenship.  i did at one point adopt the ameri-canadian status but that didn’t last long, becuz  i am canadian and that is truly where i want to be. 

a few songs that remind me of home.. and thats of course michael buble … every time i hear that song.. maybe surrounded by a million people, i still feel all alone… I just want to go home…. and this line does it to me every time…   but i want to go home…mmm i’ve got to go home … let me go home..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxz6Zkl85GA

and then there’s this new one…

I get how you can be surrounded by people yet feel so alone.  How I long to find my “home” 

The Road Clearly taken!!

I find myself daydreaming while staring at this picture.  Brings me back to the day, the moment of complete stillness… few minutes later the snow began to fall..

To sit in the woods surrounded by the beauty of winter, to feel the bitter cold on your cheeks, to listen to the wind as it stirs in the trees, the branches cracking under the weight of the snow. 

A beautiful day I will treasure always.

movies, emotions...

yeah so yesterday I spent the evening watching a few movies.. most of them.. well I guess you would consider them "chick flicks".. only becuz they had to do with relationships and stuff.. and well we know how most guys just don't get that.. I have to laugh cuz I made a comment to a friend that there was a part in the movie.. that I had to go get some kleenex for.. and he laughed.. not sure what that was all about. But I can only assume he thought it was funny that I could be emotional about a movie, something not real.. Okay so I give him that but it was sad, and whats wrong with showing that emotion if you feel it.

Why does it bother guys so much when a girl crys? Do they see us as being unreasonable? Hate to break it to you.. but there are times that I may be so dang happy I cry.. has nothing to do with being sad.. its just an overwhelming feeling of happiness.

I think crying is a good thing.. its healthy for both men and women. I remember when I first saw my dad cry, made me realize that he was just like me. I love my dad dearly, and I see where I get my emotional stuff from.. ya mum too but seeing dad cry, it was one of those ah'ha moments.. I was pretty young too. And it hit me.. that wow.. my dad.. the big strong man, the one that could put fear into you by lowering his voice and being all stern...yeah.. him.. to see that was touching.. for a man to be that secure in who he is, and to share his emotions in that way, I long for that.

I want to love someone that will love me with all my strengths and weaknesses.. I don't want to hide...nor would I want him to hide it either. To have someone love you in such a complete way with no holds barred...

Punch Buggy.. NO RETURNS

okay so.. on my way to work.. and then to lunch..look what I spied!!

PUNCH BUGGY!!! NO RETURNS


Thats.. Punch buggy.. RED.. YELLOW and BLUE
NO RETURNS...
oooooohhhh.. she's catching up.. hehe

December 16th

On this journey... we call life.. we have a tendency to mark our calendars with events in our lives that mean something.. whether its a birth of a child or your puppies first year..

Today is a special day for me.. its marks the day I met someone who has come to mean alot to me. How it happened.. I still try to piece it together..but really .. doesn't matter.. what is.. is..
I look at some of my friendships.. those that are currently in my life.. and those that briefly passed thru.. this poem fits..

REASON, SEASON.. or Lifetime...

When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then,
without any wrongdoing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order
to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person
and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

My house is a very very very fine house

Some days are diamonds.. some are stone.. yeah.. I am sure you have heard that saying.. or heard it in a song.. Diamonds are suppose symbolize the wonderfulness of the day.. and stone..well.. thats obviously for the dark heaviness of the day... what happens when you experience both.. in the same day.. sometimes.. within an hour of each...

One minute I am up.. happy.. smiling.. world is your oyster.. the next.. boom.. you're picking yourself up off the ground.. (hopefully dusting yourself off too) but yeah.. knocks you on your butt.
Today.. is one of those days for me.. and thankfully I don't experience these often but when I do.. wow.. I am thankful for friends that I can rely on... and chat with.

Funny while I was chatting with such a friend.. I was reminded of a hobby I have.. which is stored now .. deep in the recesses of the garage.. buried... not by my doing of course... its a doll house. I have all the furniture for my 9 room mansion. I built it myself from a kit.. granted.. but it was still hard lining it up.. and getting the roof to set right...

I started to do the electric in it.. so the first floor has lighting.. which is always fun to see.. not sure where I went wrong on the second floor..sure I have a short somewhere.. haha...
I did enjoy the furniture shopping for the house.. and was so much more affordable than the adult size.. haha..

Notice how its completely furnished yet not completely built.. typical girl.. haha.. well I will post pics and edit this as I work on it more.. I feel inspired to work on it again...

so thank you friend...

The Great Travels of Bird

The title was inspired by my dear sweet sister.. who for some odd reason has nicknamed me bird.. can't remember when that started either..and initially I hated it.. but it has grown on me.. and I guess its starting to fit..
Cuz this bird.. has grown a set of wings.. and is learning not just to fly.. but to SOAR baby!!!

This year has been quite the adventure.. had 3 trips to Canada.. the first trip was the first week in June.. I hadn't been "home" in 2 yrs.. and my mum was not well.. she had surgery in May.. and was recovering well.. but you know when you are 2000 miles away.. there's just something about having to "see" someone.. and with all the stuff that life was throwing at me.. let's just say.. I needed to go..

I brought my oldest son with me.. to help with the driving.. and we had such a good time.. laughing.. and being silly.. even when we hit the weather.. we had so much rain.. but we both enjoyed it.. especially the smell after.. have you ever noticed that? after a good rain.. you roll down the windows.. or open them.. and you take in that fresh clean air.. you can still smell the rain.. the wetness.. it even feels different.. anyhoo.. that trip.. wow.. made me realize a few things about myself. I found myself lost in a big world that can easily chew you up and spit you out.. you have to be careful.. you have to hang on tenaciously to what matters to you..
and that I did.. not only that.. the masks have to come off.. the hiding of pain.. of disappointments..its okay to share those things.. with peeps that are trustworthy and that love you.. I don't recommend you do that with just anyone...

Okay so while in BC...I was able to see alot and do alot.. did quite abit of hiking..boot camp..haha.. and bike riding.. had an adventure of riding to a winery.. oh the laughs!!! Wine makes me giggly.. random fact.. and when consumed with sista.. double double giggly. Other adventures.. went canoeing.. and kayaking.. ya I did pretty good with the kayak.. even raced the bro..and won!! haha.. and then it was lets see ya tip.. now keep in mind its June.. and the lake is mountain fed water..so it was pretty exhilarating.. lol.. which translates to cold!!!

My second trip to BC was in July.. literally 3 weeks later... my mum had a heart attack.. there was no way I was not going up...in retrospect.. I am glad for the trip in June.. it prepared me for July... I had stayed with dad.. while mum was in the hospital.. she is such an amazingly strong woman!.. heck she did have 7 kids..how could you not be.. but really.. I look at her and think.. holy hound dog.. I can only hope to have half of her strength and determination.. Mum is doing well now.. continues to follow the dr's orders.. takes care of herself..with diet and exercise.. and can I just say.. that in itself is such a huge thing!.. heck it is for most of us.. but that I will leave that for another blog!..

Saying good bye.. well.. I don't say good bye.. I say.. till we meet again.. or see you soon... is still hard.. no matter what words you use.. and there is always tears.. along with really long hugs! It's the letting go... the physical act of letting that person go.. that gets me.. I am a very touchy feel-y kinda girl.. I love to give hugs.. give kisses.. hold hands.. not in a clingy way.. I just like to show my love that I have for that person..

Trip number 3.. that was done this month- you will find that adventure some posted here.. some on.. finding your true north... hope you enjoy.

The Start

Where it all started for me...

I have been carrying this 3 page story in my purse and then it ended up.. folded in my journal. I can't tell you how many times I have read it.. but I can tell you... I now "get it"... Feel free to cut and paste.. and keep a copy with you.. read it often.. because each time I did.. I found something new!

The Awakening by Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!
Enough fighting, and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU...and in that process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself.. and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you or didn't do to you, and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always will be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties.. and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weight, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is a power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. And you learn that alone doesn't mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want.. and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perserverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on YOUR own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state- the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected of they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we all take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise never to betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life YOU want to live- AS BEST YOU CAN!!!

Introductions

Okay so this is me.. LOL... ya.. I was on yet another adventure in this pic... and I think that's my true calling.. to be retired.. haha...

I enjoy traveling..I have done alot of that by car, some plane and train.. and of course motorcycle.

The great states I have been to so far are,Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Montana, Idaho, Nevada, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Illinois, Nebraska, Ohio, Arizona, Colorado, Wisconsin, Iowa, Wyoming..
In Canada I have been to Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia... have to work my way to the east now...

Guess that line.. "westward bound" needs to change.. tally ho.. and away we go.. EAST baby.. where the sun rises.. haven't seen the Atlantic Ocean..