"We are blessed with an incredible week, a lunar eclipse followed by a transit of Venus so close to the Earth that we can physically see her pass before the Sun. Venus brings to us guidance on how to evolve beyond the current consciousness on Earth, offering us from a place of loving sisterhood, an ability to see beyond what appears to be and into a more loving reality... during this week we can be lifted out of our stories deeper into reality if we allow it, but the trick is that we must surrender our attachment- to the why, the who, the where and the how of whatever drama is unfolding in our lives-to be lifted requires we let go of the weight of our own fixation on how we think things should be, so divine unfolding perfection can occur with grace... to do this we simply ask, may the beings of divine grace that love me unconditionally bless me now, lift me from my own struggle into the purity of my divinity, thank you"
yes this sounds an easy task... to let go of the drama, to the why, the where.. but I am having difficulty with the who. I guess that's because the "who" involved are those that I love with such greatness, such vastness its hard to describe a mother's love.. but I realize that when my children were younger, I was faced with an incident that made me look long and hard at how little I could do for them.. I know that God is the one that has them in His hands.. that He is capable of far more greater things that I could ever be.. My middle son had flat-lined on me at the doctors office, he had a hernia, doctors gave him medicine to relax him to attempt to push the hernia back... but what happened was..something they were not expecting either.. when I saw my child's eyes roll back into his head.. and he stopped breathing.. I told the doctor.. somethings wrong.. hes not breathing.. she didn't look right away.. I became louder and then finally she looked, stopped what she was doing and realized something was completely and utterly wrong... she pushed a button and before I knew it.. 4 other doctors, a crash cart and a pastor came thru the door. The pastor escorted me out.. I don't remember wanting to go..but I knew if I stayed it wouldn't help my son.. so yes.. against every GRAIN of who I am.. I left that room.. in tears.. to the room next door.. my knees hit the ground pretty fast.. and I remember clearly praying.. very earnestly.. so much clarity hit me in those moments....my prayer changed.. from desperation and sheer agony.. to a calmness that chills me to this day.. in my heart.. I knew that my son was in God's hands.. and that I had to say.. YOUR WILL BE DONE.. and truly mean it.. I know that God is one of love, but I also know that those children that I have been blessed with .. they are NOT mine.. they have been given as a gift.. to cherish..to teach.. to love.. I learned that day... that sometimes the best thing to do.. is to allow GOD to do what He does best...
and here I am faced with yet another challenge.. to once again.. let go.. and let God.
This last week, I have experienced a couple nights of waking at 3am..once it was 4:30am and its like clarity has hit me again.. all those questions in my head.. have answers... and yes.. like most.. I didn't like the answers.. so what happens.. a struggle.. yes.. I want my way.. I have to learn to let go.. letting go..does not me that you don't love.. it means you love so much more than you thought.. because ultimately it is for our best..
There is much drama right now.. and if I continue in it.. I don't know if it will be a good outcome.. but then too.. if I let go.. again.. I don't know the outcome.. amazing how your faith gets tested.. sometimes I wish we could see how it all would go, but then.. you would miss the dance..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2WcWLavw5U
