Not so funny..

Family.. they are a funny thing.. I thought or believed that you can say or do anything with your family.. that they will love you unconditionally.. I wonder.. if there are many out there that hold that same belief??..

I guess that's why I like animals.. because they truly do love you unconditionally.. I mean.. I look at my cat..I go to work.. leave him alone.. yet when I come home.. he's excited..and just wants to shower me with love.. now why can't people be like that.. why are we so concerned with how that might look.. or what they might think.. I mean really.. if you love someone..show it..and if you don't... well.. then just go away..but that's something else.. I am trying to figure out why peeps have issues.. even with words.. we are so quick to use hurtful words to make ourselves feel better or look more important.. what is up with that.?? (yes this is all the emotional baggage I have.. there's LOTS more..haha)
Seriously though.. there's an issue.. and it becomes a he said.. she said thing..and then.. each side has to find others to agree with their side.. guess what peeps.. the issue is NOT THAT important.. it's not life or death.. YET we are willing to make it that.. my comment to that.."who died and made YOU Darth Vader?"
I mean come on..we are not perfect.. we all say stuff we shouldn't.. YET we hold each other to a higher level of standard.. that we ourselves are NOT willing to maintain..or aim for.. (hence the Darth Vader)
Now I know where some of those sayings come from..like "get off your high horse"

I guess what bothers me the most.. is the whole treat others as you would like to be treated..when did that get discarded? or disregarded.. either way.. you don't see that often.. I am a little disheartened.. (can you tell?) I guess it brings me back to words.. how we use them, and the peeps we use them on..

I remember reading a book, and it talked about how we are more polite to strangers then we are to our own family.. that if we bump into someone at the grocery store, we say oh excuse me, or pardon me.. yet when we are in the comfort of our own home and we bump into our loved one.. we mutter move.. or you're in the way... how is it we can show preference like that? are we that blind to our own actions.. do we not see.. and that brings me to the next question.. when YOU see you are clearly hurting the other person with your words.. why do YOU NOT stop?? Is it the satisfaction of seeing tears? does it make you feel powerful? or in control.. ?
I don't get it.. and I am glad I don't..

Believe me.. I am far from perfect.. but I do try to show love to others..the song "shower the people you love with love..show them the way that you feel"

Dreams.. what do you make of them..

I am not talking about your dreams in life.. I am talking about when you have finally fallen asleep and these thoughts and images take over... some of my dreams are downright disturbing... there are times where I have woken myself up from crying.. or at least what I thought was my screaming.. ya.. in my dream it is.. but not sure if I actually shout out.. or cry so one can hear me.. usually when a dream like that gets me awake.. it does take a bit for me to realize where I am.. and that I am in no eminent danger.. that's the part of the brain that I find quite comical.. the fight or flight mode.. seems I do more fleeing.. haha.. although the last dream I did wake up.. raring to fight.. thankfully I kept my punches to myself..
so back to what do you make of them.?? do you have a tendency to analyze those random thoughts..I can usually sort out where certain thoughts came from.. but then there are some dreams that are so wicked.. I have no idea where in that deep abyss of a brain that it came from.. cuz on the surface.. ya.. it's not there..
Its disturbing to wake up, feeling out of sorts.. I try desperately to put things in order..to figure it out..
Maybe I just look too deeply...
who knows..